Will I put my trust in Jesus? No brainer.
Will I say "I do" to Kimberly? Absolutely.
Will I answer the call to full-time ministry? Yep.
Have kids? Move? Buy a house? Buy a truck/car/van? Yes, yes, yes & yes/yes/yes.
"Can this newborn girl be placed in your home?" Well, I don't know.
For those of you that don't know our story, we are a foster family. We've had 3 girls biologically, and we're in the process of adopting our son. The little girl that is heavy on our hearts is from the same birth mom as our son.
My heart wants to say "yes" because we know the life she'll likely have if she stays with her mom (spoiler alert: it won't be good). I also want to say "yes" because I know what my family could offer her. We're happily married and love kids, we have great kids that would love her & play with her, we have extremely supportive families and an awesome local church (Wayside Chapel, for those of you looking for a place to call home in the San Antonio area). Not to mention, fostering/adopting is a great thing to do (it even says so in the Bible). So this is a no brainer, right?
Then my head hears this crazy talk coming from my heart. My head goes on to tell the following jokes:
- Q: What is broken up before 7 hours? A: Hollywood marriages and/or a night of sleep for you and your wife!
- Your wife is tired from chasing around the dark haired kid that is always hungry and screams a lot...not to mention she's tired from chasing your son too!
All cheesy jokes aside, we're really tired. For nearly five years we've been changing diapers, wiping noses, midnight feeding and doing all the other tasks that come with parenting. My head says we've put in our time raising our kids (and technically someone else's too, even though we consider him ours) and it's time to invest in your marriage, family, ministry, personal health and community a little more.
So here I am, assuming we get the phone call, facing the hardest decision of our lives. There are a lot of pros and cons that I'm not going to get into. I don't want that to be the focus of this blog or our decision.
In a weird way, we already love this little girl that hasn't even been born and is currently in the belly of another woman that we've never met. But the hardest part is deciding what's best for our family right now. Honestly, I don't feel like I give my wife enough quality time. I'm ashamed to say that dates, gifts and meaningful conversations are rare. Also, I rarely get one-on-one time with one of my kids unless it's driving them to the doctor. Would adding another child, although a good and noble thing to do, be the healthiest and best decision for my marriage and family?
I guess the point in all this is that I need your prayer. I want my friends and readers to know that I don't have it all together. I have great intentions sometimes, but I also have very selfish thoughts. I'll admit to you that I've thought about praying for the phone call not to come so we won't have to make the decision, but rather it will be made for us. But I know that means the little girl is either with her unstable family or a random foster family, and I'm not ok with either of those options.
My wife and I are torn. Split 50/50. As the story unfolds I'll probably write a follow up to this. Until then I'd appreciate your prayer for God to make His will known. Maybe He already has and you can pray for us to listen and obey?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Offensive Christianity
I think all of us, believer or non-believer, have experienced Christianity that is offensive. I'm referring to bullhorn guy/street corner preacher, the legalistic judgmental Christian, Westboro Baptist Church, etc. I've begun this post off topic, but since I'm here, have you ever seen or heard of anyone walking by the street corner preacher and they stop, listen, repent of sin and street corner preacher begins discipling them? Or has anyone walked by Westboro's "God hates fags" sign and turned from their homosexual lifestyle? I haven't seen that either.
This post isn't about Christianity that's offensive, as in rude or repulsive. I want to share the idea that we should be offensive, as in the opposite of defensive.
Many of my Christian friends, and even my own family at times, have been guilty of playing spiritual defense. We intentionally don't go where sin takes place, like bars, rated R movies and public schools (before my home school & Christian school friends get upset, you should know/remember that my wife and I met at a private, Christian college).
Please understand what I'm trying to say. I absolutely believe in being wise, having good friends, protecting our children, and not conforming to this world (Romans 12:2). But I can't help but wonder if we might be more effective in ministry if we took more risks. Let me give a couple Biblical reasons why I think like this.
1. Jesus did it. Jesus aggressively went after outcasts of every kind. Sinners, including cheaters with money, cheaters in marriage, and everyone else that the "good people" looked down upon. He also touched the poor, sick, handicapped, and even dead. To be fair, Jesus also taught in the temple and spent time with religious folks. But it's pretty obvious he was rarely impressed with, in fact He got very angry with the religious leaders who were hypocrites.
2. Peter and the gates of hell. Jesus tells Peter in Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
At first glance a couple things stick out to me. One is that Christ is building His church on/through Peter. And two, the gates of Hades can't stop it. When I think of gates I think of large doors that keep people in or out. They are preventative or defensive. The church (the collective body of believers) should be so powerful that nothing, not even hell can overcome or stop it.
The church should be on offense, hell should be on defense.
3. Arrows & Warriors. Psalm 127:4 says Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
My kids don't need to be locked in their rooms, wearing robes made of bubble wrap covering them from head to toe, never to watch TV or listen to music. They are arrows, weapons, in the hands of their dad, the warrior.
I shouldn't be scared of the beach, where girls wear bikinis and people drink beer. I shouldn't be scared of schools, where they teach evolution and kids get bullied. My kids should be arrows, weapons, ready to attack. As their warrior dad, I need to prepare them and train them for battle. I want my kids to be missionaries in our neighborhood, at their schools and at sleepovers and birthday parties (my kids are young, if you couldn't tell). I want my kids to influence their friends to live for Christ.
I challenge my fellow believers to quit being offensive, and start playing offense.
This post isn't about Christianity that's offensive, as in rude or repulsive. I want to share the idea that we should be offensive, as in the opposite of defensive.
Many of my Christian friends, and even my own family at times, have been guilty of playing spiritual defense. We intentionally don't go where sin takes place, like bars, rated R movies and public schools (before my home school & Christian school friends get upset, you should know/remember that my wife and I met at a private, Christian college).
Please understand what I'm trying to say. I absolutely believe in being wise, having good friends, protecting our children, and not conforming to this world (Romans 12:2). But I can't help but wonder if we might be more effective in ministry if we took more risks. Let me give a couple Biblical reasons why I think like this.
1. Jesus did it. Jesus aggressively went after outcasts of every kind. Sinners, including cheaters with money, cheaters in marriage, and everyone else that the "good people" looked down upon. He also touched the poor, sick, handicapped, and even dead. To be fair, Jesus also taught in the temple and spent time with religious folks. But it's pretty obvious he was rarely impressed with, in fact He got very angry with the religious leaders who were hypocrites.
2. Peter and the gates of hell. Jesus tells Peter in Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
At first glance a couple things stick out to me. One is that Christ is building His church on/through Peter. And two, the gates of Hades can't stop it. When I think of gates I think of large doors that keep people in or out. They are preventative or defensive. The church (the collective body of believers) should be so powerful that nothing, not even hell can overcome or stop it.
The church should be on offense, hell should be on defense.
3. Arrows & Warriors. Psalm 127:4 says Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
My kids don't need to be locked in their rooms, wearing robes made of bubble wrap covering them from head to toe, never to watch TV or listen to music. They are arrows, weapons, in the hands of their dad, the warrior.
I shouldn't be scared of the beach, where girls wear bikinis and people drink beer. I shouldn't be scared of schools, where they teach evolution and kids get bullied. My kids should be arrows, weapons, ready to attack. As their warrior dad, I need to prepare them and train them for battle. I want my kids to be missionaries in our neighborhood, at their schools and at sleepovers and birthday parties (my kids are young, if you couldn't tell). I want my kids to influence their friends to live for Christ.
I challenge my fellow believers to quit being offensive, and start playing offense.
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