I've gone to church as long as I can remember and I've come to hate it. I've seen it do far more damage than good. Sure, like politics or a Cubs game there are glimpses of hope, little bright spots or successful moments here and there. But for the most part, people going to church has been the worst thing for Christianity.
Before I go any further, I should probably clarify that my family (still) regularly attends a weekly worship service with other believers. It's really the phrase "going to church" that I have a problem with.
The main reason is that it limits who we are to a small place at a limited time. You've probably heard it said that "we don't go to church, we are the church." And that's true.
It's like saying "I'm going to be a son/daughter" when we make plans to eat with our parents. Or like saying "I'm going to be an employee" when we begin our work day. We're always a son or daughter regardless of our current location or circumstances. I'm still an employee even when I'm at home. Likewise, we're "the church" on Sunday mornings, and Wednesday nights, and Monday afternoons and Friday night. We're the church at the beach, in our cubicles and at the restaurant.
Instead of asking other believers "where do you go to church?" I'd rather us ask each other who did you serve or mentor, what person or ministry do you support, or how have you loved your neighbors this week? Before you invite someone to your church, invite them over for dinner. Serve them. Offer to mow their grass or watch their kids. Offer to stay late and help them finish a project. There are a few examples of how they might join "your church."
I go to the store. I go to my office. I go to the park. It's impossible for me to go to church.
That being said, I'll see you Sunday morning at 10am...or maybe Thursday in the break room, you know, at church?
Monday, April 7, 2014
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Adoption
In about 12 hours from now we'll be in court to adopt our son. He's about 18 months old, and he's been a part of our family since he was six weeks old. I can't remember a time when we introduced him as or even considered him our "foster" son. He's always been our son.
When we leave the courtroom tomorrow morning, two things will change. The first is that we'll have much more free time. No more monthly home visits from our agency and from CPS. No more submitting parent logs, prescription logs, medical forms, dental forms, clothing inventories, and so on. The second, and more importantly, is that he'll have a new identity. He'll be the same boy, but he'll have a new name.
I can't help but make the connection to a new life in Christ. When we trust in Jesus, we keep the same body, personality, etc. But we receive a new identity. We are no longer strangers or foreigners, but sons and heirs.
Before he came into our home, our son didn't have the brightest future in front of him. His birth mom and her mother were both drug addicts. It's unlikely he would have received the attention, support, love and education we can provide. We are glad that we've been able to give him a mom and dad that love him, three big sisters that adore him, as well as grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and a church family to love and support him.
I didn't have much hope before I was adopted into God's family either. My future looked dark. My parents and grandparents were born sinners as well, deserving of the same death I deserve. But...
A new dad came to the rescue, a Heavenly Father. A price was paid for me that changed my destiny. I received a new identity in Christ. The old had gone, the new had come! Tomorrow is step one of my son's new identity. Step two will be even greater, when he puts his trust in Jesus Christ.
Adoption is a beautiful thing.
When we leave the courtroom tomorrow morning, two things will change. The first is that we'll have much more free time. No more monthly home visits from our agency and from CPS. No more submitting parent logs, prescription logs, medical forms, dental forms, clothing inventories, and so on. The second, and more importantly, is that he'll have a new identity. He'll be the same boy, but he'll have a new name.
I can't help but make the connection to a new life in Christ. When we trust in Jesus, we keep the same body, personality, etc. But we receive a new identity. We are no longer strangers or foreigners, but sons and heirs.
Before he came into our home, our son didn't have the brightest future in front of him. His birth mom and her mother were both drug addicts. It's unlikely he would have received the attention, support, love and education we can provide. We are glad that we've been able to give him a mom and dad that love him, three big sisters that adore him, as well as grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and a church family to love and support him.
I didn't have much hope before I was adopted into God's family either. My future looked dark. My parents and grandparents were born sinners as well, deserving of the same death I deserve. But...
A new dad came to the rescue, a Heavenly Father. A price was paid for me that changed my destiny. I received a new identity in Christ. The old had gone, the new had come! Tomorrow is step one of my son's new identity. Step two will be even greater, when he puts his trust in Jesus Christ.
Adoption is a beautiful thing.
Monday, February 11, 2013
The hardest decision of my life
Will I put my trust in Jesus? No brainer.
Will I say "I do" to Kimberly? Absolutely.
Will I answer the call to full-time ministry? Yep.
Have kids? Move? Buy a house? Buy a truck/car/van? Yes, yes, yes & yes/yes/yes.
"Can this newborn girl be placed in your home?" Well, I don't know.
For those of you that don't know our story, we are a foster family. We've had 3 girls biologically, and we're in the process of adopting our son. The little girl that is heavy on our hearts is from the same birth mom as our son.
My heart wants to say "yes" because we know the life she'll likely have if she stays with her mom (spoiler alert: it won't be good). I also want to say "yes" because I know what my family could offer her. We're happily married and love kids, we have great kids that would love her & play with her, we have extremely supportive families and an awesome local church (Wayside Chapel, for those of you looking for a place to call home in the San Antonio area). Not to mention, fostering/adopting is a great thing to do (it even says so in the Bible). So this is a no brainer, right?
Then my head hears this crazy talk coming from my heart. My head goes on to tell the following jokes:
- Q: What is broken up before 7 hours? A: Hollywood marriages and/or a night of sleep for you and your wife!
- Your wife is tired from chasing around the dark haired kid that is always hungry and screams a lot...not to mention she's tired from chasing your son too!
All cheesy jokes aside, we're really tired. For nearly five years we've been changing diapers, wiping noses, midnight feeding and doing all the other tasks that come with parenting. My head says we've put in our time raising our kids (and technically someone else's too, even though we consider him ours) and it's time to invest in your marriage, family, ministry, personal health and community a little more.
So here I am, assuming we get the phone call, facing the hardest decision of our lives. There are a lot of pros and cons that I'm not going to get into. I don't want that to be the focus of this blog or our decision.
In a weird way, we already love this little girl that hasn't even been born and is currently in the belly of another woman that we've never met. But the hardest part is deciding what's best for our family right now. Honestly, I don't feel like I give my wife enough quality time. I'm ashamed to say that dates, gifts and meaningful conversations are rare. Also, I rarely get one-on-one time with one of my kids unless it's driving them to the doctor. Would adding another child, although a good and noble thing to do, be the healthiest and best decision for my marriage and family?
I guess the point in all this is that I need your prayer. I want my friends and readers to know that I don't have it all together. I have great intentions sometimes, but I also have very selfish thoughts. I'll admit to you that I've thought about praying for the phone call not to come so we won't have to make the decision, but rather it will be made for us. But I know that means the little girl is either with her unstable family or a random foster family, and I'm not ok with either of those options.
My wife and I are torn. Split 50/50. As the story unfolds I'll probably write a follow up to this. Until then I'd appreciate your prayer for God to make His will known. Maybe He already has and you can pray for us to listen and obey?
Will I say "I do" to Kimberly? Absolutely.
Will I answer the call to full-time ministry? Yep.
Have kids? Move? Buy a house? Buy a truck/car/van? Yes, yes, yes & yes/yes/yes.
"Can this newborn girl be placed in your home?" Well, I don't know.
For those of you that don't know our story, we are a foster family. We've had 3 girls biologically, and we're in the process of adopting our son. The little girl that is heavy on our hearts is from the same birth mom as our son.
My heart wants to say "yes" because we know the life she'll likely have if she stays with her mom (spoiler alert: it won't be good). I also want to say "yes" because I know what my family could offer her. We're happily married and love kids, we have great kids that would love her & play with her, we have extremely supportive families and an awesome local church (Wayside Chapel, for those of you looking for a place to call home in the San Antonio area). Not to mention, fostering/adopting is a great thing to do (it even says so in the Bible). So this is a no brainer, right?
Then my head hears this crazy talk coming from my heart. My head goes on to tell the following jokes:
- Q: What is broken up before 7 hours? A: Hollywood marriages and/or a night of sleep for you and your wife!
- Your wife is tired from chasing around the dark haired kid that is always hungry and screams a lot...not to mention she's tired from chasing your son too!
All cheesy jokes aside, we're really tired. For nearly five years we've been changing diapers, wiping noses, midnight feeding and doing all the other tasks that come with parenting. My head says we've put in our time raising our kids (and technically someone else's too, even though we consider him ours) and it's time to invest in your marriage, family, ministry, personal health and community a little more.
So here I am, assuming we get the phone call, facing the hardest decision of our lives. There are a lot of pros and cons that I'm not going to get into. I don't want that to be the focus of this blog or our decision.
In a weird way, we already love this little girl that hasn't even been born and is currently in the belly of another woman that we've never met. But the hardest part is deciding what's best for our family right now. Honestly, I don't feel like I give my wife enough quality time. I'm ashamed to say that dates, gifts and meaningful conversations are rare. Also, I rarely get one-on-one time with one of my kids unless it's driving them to the doctor. Would adding another child, although a good and noble thing to do, be the healthiest and best decision for my marriage and family?
I guess the point in all this is that I need your prayer. I want my friends and readers to know that I don't have it all together. I have great intentions sometimes, but I also have very selfish thoughts. I'll admit to you that I've thought about praying for the phone call not to come so we won't have to make the decision, but rather it will be made for us. But I know that means the little girl is either with her unstable family or a random foster family, and I'm not ok with either of those options.
My wife and I are torn. Split 50/50. As the story unfolds I'll probably write a follow up to this. Until then I'd appreciate your prayer for God to make His will known. Maybe He already has and you can pray for us to listen and obey?
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Offensive Christianity
I think all of us, believer or non-believer, have experienced Christianity that is offensive. I'm referring to bullhorn guy/street corner preacher, the legalistic judgmental Christian, Westboro Baptist Church, etc. I've begun this post off topic, but since I'm here, have you ever seen or heard of anyone walking by the street corner preacher and they stop, listen, repent of sin and street corner preacher begins discipling them? Or has anyone walked by Westboro's "God hates fags" sign and turned from their homosexual lifestyle? I haven't seen that either.
This post isn't about Christianity that's offensive, as in rude or repulsive. I want to share the idea that we should be offensive, as in the opposite of defensive.
Many of my Christian friends, and even my own family at times, have been guilty of playing spiritual defense. We intentionally don't go where sin takes place, like bars, rated R movies and public schools (before my home school & Christian school friends get upset, you should know/remember that my wife and I met at a private, Christian college).
Please understand what I'm trying to say. I absolutely believe in being wise, having good friends, protecting our children, and not conforming to this world (Romans 12:2). But I can't help but wonder if we might be more effective in ministry if we took more risks. Let me give a couple Biblical reasons why I think like this.
1. Jesus did it. Jesus aggressively went after outcasts of every kind. Sinners, including cheaters with money, cheaters in marriage, and everyone else that the "good people" looked down upon. He also touched the poor, sick, handicapped, and even dead. To be fair, Jesus also taught in the temple and spent time with religious folks. But it's pretty obvious he was rarely impressed with, in fact He got very angry with the religious leaders who were hypocrites.
2. Peter and the gates of hell. Jesus tells Peter in Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
At first glance a couple things stick out to me. One is that Christ is building His church on/through Peter. And two, the gates of Hades can't stop it. When I think of gates I think of large doors that keep people in or out. They are preventative or defensive. The church (the collective body of believers) should be so powerful that nothing, not even hell can overcome or stop it.
The church should be on offense, hell should be on defense.
3. Arrows & Warriors. Psalm 127:4 says Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
My kids don't need to be locked in their rooms, wearing robes made of bubble wrap covering them from head to toe, never to watch TV or listen to music. They are arrows, weapons, in the hands of their dad, the warrior.
I shouldn't be scared of the beach, where girls wear bikinis and people drink beer. I shouldn't be scared of schools, where they teach evolution and kids get bullied. My kids should be arrows, weapons, ready to attack. As their warrior dad, I need to prepare them and train them for battle. I want my kids to be missionaries in our neighborhood, at their schools and at sleepovers and birthday parties (my kids are young, if you couldn't tell). I want my kids to influence their friends to live for Christ.
I challenge my fellow believers to quit being offensive, and start playing offense.
This post isn't about Christianity that's offensive, as in rude or repulsive. I want to share the idea that we should be offensive, as in the opposite of defensive.
Many of my Christian friends, and even my own family at times, have been guilty of playing spiritual defense. We intentionally don't go where sin takes place, like bars, rated R movies and public schools (before my home school & Christian school friends get upset, you should know/remember that my wife and I met at a private, Christian college).
Please understand what I'm trying to say. I absolutely believe in being wise, having good friends, protecting our children, and not conforming to this world (Romans 12:2). But I can't help but wonder if we might be more effective in ministry if we took more risks. Let me give a couple Biblical reasons why I think like this.
1. Jesus did it. Jesus aggressively went after outcasts of every kind. Sinners, including cheaters with money, cheaters in marriage, and everyone else that the "good people" looked down upon. He also touched the poor, sick, handicapped, and even dead. To be fair, Jesus also taught in the temple and spent time with religious folks. But it's pretty obvious he was rarely impressed with, in fact He got very angry with the religious leaders who were hypocrites.
2. Peter and the gates of hell. Jesus tells Peter in Matthew 16:18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
At first glance a couple things stick out to me. One is that Christ is building His church on/through Peter. And two, the gates of Hades can't stop it. When I think of gates I think of large doors that keep people in or out. They are preventative or defensive. The church (the collective body of believers) should be so powerful that nothing, not even hell can overcome or stop it.
The church should be on offense, hell should be on defense.
3. Arrows & Warriors. Psalm 127:4 says Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
My kids don't need to be locked in their rooms, wearing robes made of bubble wrap covering them from head to toe, never to watch TV or listen to music. They are arrows, weapons, in the hands of their dad, the warrior.
I shouldn't be scared of the beach, where girls wear bikinis and people drink beer. I shouldn't be scared of schools, where they teach evolution and kids get bullied. My kids should be arrows, weapons, ready to attack. As their warrior dad, I need to prepare them and train them for battle. I want my kids to be missionaries in our neighborhood, at their schools and at sleepovers and birthday parties (my kids are young, if you couldn't tell). I want my kids to influence their friends to live for Christ.
I challenge my fellow believers to quit being offensive, and start playing offense.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Renew your mind
Men, this might sound crazy, but humor me for a moment.
What if instead of giving up things you enjoy so you can "be a good dad," you actually enjoyed your kids? What if playing with them, teaching them and spending time with them really refreshed you and made you laugh?
What if instead of wondering what your ex-girlfriend is up to, or instead of looking at porn, what if you actually thought your wife was beautiful and you treated her the way you did when you were dating?
What if instead of wishing you were hunting or watching the 1st quarter of the game on Sunday, you actually engaged and connected at church and you become the spiritual leader of your family?
This is crazy right? We're guys, so there's no way we could want to spend time with our kids, be attracted to our wives like we were years ago, or actually like church...is there?
I think there may be a way.
There's a verse in Scripture (Romans 12:2) that says to "let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."
So this week I'm going to try it. If you ask me to describe the perfect woman, I'm going to describe my wife. The highlight of my week is going to be taking my kids for a picnic at the park and then reading to them at the library. And Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday at that, I want to worship the God of the universe, read His Word, learn from my pastor and apply those things during the week.
My family is more important than ESPN. They should be, they need to be, they have to be. I really like sports, but no game, play or event will matter to me 5 years from now. I won't remember the score of last week's Spurs game. But I will remember teaching my oldest daughter to ride a bike, the way my twins dance, and my son's first steps.
I promised God, my friends, my family and my wife that I'm committed to her until one of us dies, no exceptions. So why should she get my leftovers just because we're married? Wouldn't it be a good investment to love her well now, since we may have another 30 or 40 years together?
I believe the single most important thing any person can do is follow Christ and grow closer to Him. Churches and church people aren't perfect, but God is. We need to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. Not only on Sunday, but every day. Pray with your families. Spend time in the Bible. Model forgiveness, being a servant, and love to your friends and family.
Ask God to change your mind. Put the right things first, and enjoy the other stuff as time allows.
What if instead of giving up things you enjoy so you can "be a good dad," you actually enjoyed your kids? What if playing with them, teaching them and spending time with them really refreshed you and made you laugh?
What if instead of wondering what your ex-girlfriend is up to, or instead of looking at porn, what if you actually thought your wife was beautiful and you treated her the way you did when you were dating?
What if instead of wishing you were hunting or watching the 1st quarter of the game on Sunday, you actually engaged and connected at church and you become the spiritual leader of your family?
This is crazy right? We're guys, so there's no way we could want to spend time with our kids, be attracted to our wives like we were years ago, or actually like church...is there?
I think there may be a way.
There's a verse in Scripture (Romans 12:2) that says to "let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."
So this week I'm going to try it. If you ask me to describe the perfect woman, I'm going to describe my wife. The highlight of my week is going to be taking my kids for a picnic at the park and then reading to them at the library. And Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday at that, I want to worship the God of the universe, read His Word, learn from my pastor and apply those things during the week.
My family is more important than ESPN. They should be, they need to be, they have to be. I really like sports, but no game, play or event will matter to me 5 years from now. I won't remember the score of last week's Spurs game. But I will remember teaching my oldest daughter to ride a bike, the way my twins dance, and my son's first steps.
I promised God, my friends, my family and my wife that I'm committed to her until one of us dies, no exceptions. So why should she get my leftovers just because we're married? Wouldn't it be a good investment to love her well now, since we may have another 30 or 40 years together?
I believe the single most important thing any person can do is follow Christ and grow closer to Him. Churches and church people aren't perfect, but God is. We need to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. Not only on Sunday, but every day. Pray with your families. Spend time in the Bible. Model forgiveness, being a servant, and love to your friends and family.
Ask God to change your mind. Put the right things first, and enjoy the other stuff as time allows.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Tough
I've always admired people that are tough. My favorite football team, the Chicago Bears were known as "the monsters of the midway." They were never flashy, but they hit hard and intimidated other teams. I've always had respect for our military. The training, the teamwork, fighting in battle in any condition...awesome respect. I have a soft spot for kids with different illnesses. Little kids that fight for life every day, and miss out on "normal" things like going to the mall or playing baseball. I love and respect tough.
I think I love tough because tough has always been modeled for me. My grandparents were all tough in their own way. My parents were tough and always did tough things. My in-laws are tough. They've always worked hard and handled tough circumstances. My brothers are tough, both of them served in the Army. My sister, being the only girl and having 3 older brothers, had to be tough.
My wife is tough. She's a great mom to 4 kids, that alone is tough. She also works full time, often starting her days before 4:00am. She also volunteers at our church, and takes care of the house.
My son is tough. His birth-mom was/is a drug addict. Before he was born he was already at a significant disadvantage. When it comes to health, growth, development, even the most basic things, he's always had to come from behind and work hard. Tough kid.
I can respect art, creativity and finesse. Those things are good. But I love tough families, tough teams, tough people and overcoming tough situations.
My family has a potential situation coming up where no matter what decision is made about a child (3 different scenarios could potentially happen), we're going to be in a tough place. It helps knowing that we believe in a tough God. Don't get me wrong, I know He's kind, faithful, loving, patient and forgiving. But He's also a warrior. He's a fighter. He loves justice and protecting the helpless. There are things that He hates, things He destroys. He's a tough God too.
Scripture talks about the wide and the narrow gate. The wide gate is easy to go through and most people choose that way. But, there's a great reward for the few that take the tough road and choose the narrow gate.
I wonder what tough conversations you might avoid or take on today? What tough challenges will we take on?
It's tough to serve others.
It's tough to be honest.
It's tough to forgive.
It's tough give your friends and family the time and attention they deserve.
Life is tough. But there's a tough God that did tough things for you and me and He gives us the courage and hope to do tough things.
I think I love tough because tough has always been modeled for me. My grandparents were all tough in their own way. My parents were tough and always did tough things. My in-laws are tough. They've always worked hard and handled tough circumstances. My brothers are tough, both of them served in the Army. My sister, being the only girl and having 3 older brothers, had to be tough.
My wife is tough. She's a great mom to 4 kids, that alone is tough. She also works full time, often starting her days before 4:00am. She also volunteers at our church, and takes care of the house.
My son is tough. His birth-mom was/is a drug addict. Before he was born he was already at a significant disadvantage. When it comes to health, growth, development, even the most basic things, he's always had to come from behind and work hard. Tough kid.
I can respect art, creativity and finesse. Those things are good. But I love tough families, tough teams, tough people and overcoming tough situations.
My family has a potential situation coming up where no matter what decision is made about a child (3 different scenarios could potentially happen), we're going to be in a tough place. It helps knowing that we believe in a tough God. Don't get me wrong, I know He's kind, faithful, loving, patient and forgiving. But He's also a warrior. He's a fighter. He loves justice and protecting the helpless. There are things that He hates, things He destroys. He's a tough God too.
Scripture talks about the wide and the narrow gate. The wide gate is easy to go through and most people choose that way. But, there's a great reward for the few that take the tough road and choose the narrow gate.
I wonder what tough conversations you might avoid or take on today? What tough challenges will we take on?
It's tough to serve others.
It's tough to be honest.
It's tough to forgive.
It's tough give your friends and family the time and attention they deserve.
Life is tough. But there's a tough God that did tough things for you and me and He gives us the courage and hope to do tough things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)